Grief is a harsh reality in this world.

We have all experienced those moments when life seems brutal and painful.

Maybe life has not been bad for you up to this moment but you have nervously observed the grief of a dear friend and worry about how you would respond in the same scenario.

David, this larger than life character in the first testament of the Bible, is not unfamiliar with great victories or great grief. One horrific scene in David’s life involves a time when his enemies captured everyone in from his home city while he and his men were out at war.

Imagine coming home after a long battle to discover your city burned, businesses destroyed and your women and children taken hostage. Not only are you exhausted after a long military campaign, now the comfort of home has been taken from you and your mind is filled with the images of your loved ones in the hands of your enemies.

Grief filled the city that day. There was crying and weeping. Emotions must have been running unchecked. I can imagine many of those military men grabbing their swords and gathering to hear the battle plan – to avenge and rescue their loved ones.

Ultimately, God grants David favor and they track down and rescue their families. But before this happens, there is one sentence that is almost out of place in this story of extreme emotion. The end of 1 Samuel 30:6 reads…

But David strengthened himself in the Lord his God.

This is an amazing response to an absolutely horrible situation. How does a person slow their emotions, calm their mind, see clearly through their tears enough to breathe – much less focus on God.

And if I am honest – in those darkest moments of life, my focus on God is to pepper him with questions or tell him what he needs to do for me. The idea of allowing him to strengthen me is often not my first thought. My mind would come up with excuses as to why this would not work for me – I am not David…David is larger than life… my grief is different…

So what did David know that allowed him to respond to grief so differently?

We get a clue early in David’s life – all the way back in 1 Samuel 17. This is one of the first times we see David in action. He is a young man but his understanding of God has been growing. As a shepherd, he has learned to recognize God – he has had time to talk with God and allow God to speak to him. So when David volunteers for his first military battle against a giant warrior named Goliath, he already knows he is on the right side of the battle.

⁴⁵ Then David said to the Philistine, “You come to me with a sword and with a spear and with a javelin, but I come to you in the name of the Lord of hosts, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have defied. 

In that moment, David knew the faithfulness of God not because he won the battle and killed the giant. David knew the faithfulness of God because of his walk with God prior to the battle.

Fast forward again to when David walked into his village, excited to return home to his family, only to see his home in ruins and his loved ones missing. There is no doubt his grief was great. But he was already aware that his God was greater.

There are many responses to grief. I have tried almost all of them. I have also discovered that David was right. When grief invades my current life the best response is to cling to what I have come to know of God in my past.

The brutal reality of this understanding is it means my current grief is also a time to get to know God more deeply so I can trust God to strengthen me even more in the future.

Don’t worry if you have never taken the time to know God in a deeper way. Start today – hopefully while there is not much grief in your world. Discover something new about God and commit to living in that discovery. When the day does come, you will have a better way to respond to grief.